we made it

Today, Levi, 6 months ago, I gave birth to you, upstairs, in my bed.

You surprised me.  I couldn’t believe how broad, how big, how full of joy you were.

It wasn’t an easy birth.  Hard work. On my hands and knees.  Wondering why and how

I had let myself find myself in such a place.  Hard work.  An amazing place.

I pulled from within, deep from within, and you were born.  My first baby boy.

Today, Levi, at 6 months old, you inch forward, pressing your toes into the floor.

You press your chest and head up and reach for your toys.  You smile at me.

When we part, you now cry.  It didn’t used to be that way.  I guess separation anxiety is setting in.

Because your zest for life and discovery is so strong, I am surprised when Kristina tells me you refuse to eat while I am away.

I guess we are still just as connected, just as attached to each other, as your sister and I . . . even though I bottle nurse you,

even though . . .

I am so proud that we made it to this day.  I am so proud of you.  I look at you and feel joy, gratitude, and amazement.

These 6 months with you, have been, an amazing adventure.

And so, I get it.  I understand why, while washing the dishes, and listening to this song, I feel tears in my throat.

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Grandma, Nanna, and everyone else, there are more photos here, of Levi, at 6 months old.  Can you believe we made it?