Comments on: 2 Weeks Later http://www.greenmamma.org/blog/2009/09/04/2-weeks-later/ Written and photographed by Jessica Monte Fri, 30 Jul 2010 01:49:18 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Monna http://www.greenmamma.org/blog/2009/09/04/2-weeks-later/comment-page-1/#comment-3034 Monna Mon, 07 Sep 2009 17:01:49 +0000 http://www.greenmamma.org/blog/?p=2973#comment-3034 Oh Jessica, I had to laugh as I read your post today. Surely every mom who has two little people to care for feels the same way. When my second was born, I felt like I was in a fog, wondering when (or if) my mind would function as it used to function. Whether or not the body will ever return is a question for the gods... Someone just suggested recently that my daughter would love preschool - and it's true - she would. But, like you, I felt the jealousy of not wanting anyone else to teach her just yet. Hang in there. Maybe it will give you the opportunity to rest a little with Levi and greet the time you have with her - with a fresh & rejuvenated mind and body. I hope so!! Monna :) Oh Jessica,

I had to laugh as I read your post today. Surely every mom who has two little people to care for feels the same way. When my second was born, I felt like I was in a fog, wondering when (or if) my mind would function as it used to function. Whether or not the body will ever return is a question for the gods…

Someone just suggested recently that my daughter would love preschool – and it’s true – she would. But, like you, I felt the jealousy of not wanting anyone else to teach her just yet. Hang in there. Maybe it will give you the opportunity to rest a little with Levi and greet the time you have with her – with a fresh & rejuvenated mind and body. I hope so!!

Monna :)

]]> By: Everyday woman http://www.greenmamma.org/blog/2009/09/04/2-weeks-later/comment-page-1/#comment-3033 Everyday woman Mon, 07 Sep 2009 14:19:18 +0000 http://www.greenmamma.org/blog/?p=2973#comment-3033 Jessica, I LOVE your stream-of-consciousness writing! I remember those days post-birth as if it were just yesterday and I shared many of your same thoughts. I think every mother does . . . and there's one thing every mother shares, too---feelings of guilt. Am I doing enough for each of my children? Am I taking care of everyone? etc., etc. Please know, my dear, that you are doing EVERYTHING for EVERYONE in a PERFECT fashion, and somehow you must try to do something for YOURSELF. I know that each and every minute is totally consumed with your wonderful family and they are wonderful because of you. The way you're doing everything is perfect and just right for you, so stop second-guessing yourself and enjoy. Who cares if the laundry, dishes, etc. pile up? I'll never forget am embroidery piece my Mom made me when my first (Abbie) was born. It was a picture of a woman in a rocking chair with a baby and the verse said something about housework was on hold . . . ". . . cobwebs can go to sleep, because I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep!" Loving thoughts your way, Ruth Jessica,

I LOVE your stream-of-consciousness writing! I remember those days post-birth as if it were just yesterday and I shared many of your same thoughts. I think every mother does . . . and there’s one thing every mother shares, too—feelings of guilt. Am I doing enough for each of my children? Am I taking care of everyone? etc., etc.

Please know, my dear, that you are doing EVERYTHING for EVERYONE in a PERFECT fashion, and somehow you must try to do something for YOURSELF. I know that each and every minute is totally consumed with your wonderful family and they are wonderful because of you. The way you’re doing everything is perfect and just right for you, so stop second-guessing yourself and enjoy. Who cares if the laundry, dishes, etc. pile up?

I’ll never forget am embroidery piece my Mom made me when my first (Abbie) was born. It was a picture of a woman in a rocking chair with a baby and the verse said something about housework was on hold . . . “. . . cobwebs can go to sleep, because I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep!”

Loving thoughts your way,
Ruth

]]> By: gardenmama http://www.greenmamma.org/blog/2009/09/04/2-weeks-later/comment-page-1/#comment-3028 gardenmama Sun, 06 Sep 2009 23:34:16 +0000 http://www.greenmamma.org/blog/?p=2973#comment-3028 Congratulations on welcoming a new little one into your arms : ) Many warm healing wishes to you as you battle feeling sick and are navigating this new journey going from one to two children. You will be just fine mama, it takes a bit to get used to this new rhythm but it will all work out smoothly for everyone is no time at all. Big hugs : ) Congratulations on welcoming a new little one into your arms : )
Many warm healing wishes to you as you battle feeling sick and are navigating this new journey going from one to two children. You will be just fine mama, it takes a bit to get used to this new rhythm but it will all work out smoothly for everyone is no time at all. Big hugs : )

]]> By: Kate http://www.greenmamma.org/blog/2009/09/04/2-weeks-later/comment-page-1/#comment-3027 Kate Sun, 06 Sep 2009 19:51:58 +0000 http://www.greenmamma.org/blog/?p=2973#comment-3027 Ah, those words and emotions sound so, so, so familiar. I don't think anyone warned me, when I had my second or third child, how much other *stuff* I would feel-- there is the joy and awe of the newest babe, of course, but there is also the guilt and heartbreak (did you know some say lungs are where we store grief?) and changing relationship of the siblings that sit waiting patiently (or not so patiently) for nursing or cuddling or anything alone with mama. A friend of mine did say to me that there is some grief that comes with realizing an older child is no longer the baby-- because we do let our children grow in bits and pieces, and the change in family dynamics, the indication that our child is old enough to have a new baby, a preschool teacher, a possible weaning (a mama does have to take care of herself too-- and if you are feeling depleted, nobody wins), etc. all leads us to that understanding...hang in there mama-- your words alone tell me what a gift you are to your babes-- warmly, kate Ah, those words and emotions sound so, so, so familiar. I don’t think anyone warned me, when I had my second or third child, how much other *stuff* I would feel– there is the joy and awe of the newest babe, of course, but there is also the guilt and heartbreak (did you know some say lungs are where we store grief?) and changing relationship of the siblings that sit waiting patiently (or not so patiently) for nursing or cuddling or anything alone with mama. A friend of mine did say to me that there is some grief that comes with realizing an older child is no longer the baby– because we do let our children grow in bits and pieces, and the change in family dynamics, the indication that our child is old enough to have a new baby, a preschool teacher, a possible weaning (a mama does have to take care of herself too– and if you are feeling depleted, nobody wins), etc. all leads us to that understanding…hang in there mama– your words alone tell me what a gift you are to your babes–
warmly,
kate

]]> By: sunnymama http://www.greenmamma.org/blog/2009/09/04/2-weeks-later/comment-page-1/#comment-3025 sunnymama Sun, 06 Sep 2009 00:48:39 +0000 http://www.greenmamma.org/blog/?p=2973#comment-3025 I think you are amazing to be posting at all with a newborn! No experience with two children (I hope one day I will be blessed to have another) but I remember when sunnyboy was born it took more than two weeks just to address an envelope for a thank you card to my aunt. Hope your bronchitis gets better very soon. :) I think you are amazing to be posting at all with a newborn! No experience with two children (I hope one day I will be blessed to have another) but I remember when sunnyboy was born it took more than two weeks just to address an envelope for a thank you card to my aunt.

Hope your bronchitis gets better very soon. :)

]]> By: woowoomama http://www.greenmamma.org/blog/2009/09/04/2-weeks-later/comment-page-1/#comment-3024 woowoomama Sat, 05 Sep 2009 16:48:56 +0000 http://www.greenmamma.org/blog/?p=2973#comment-3024 hi hi hi! i just got back online after surviving a failed/dead hard drive experience. so here i am starting out fresh. the first thing i wanted to do was come to check on you and your babe. reading this post really brought me back (to exactly a year ago) and i just wanted to tell you please, if at all possible, trust your gut and try not to over think things. it took me a long time to wake up and feel like it made sense that i had two children. things seemed to shift in three month increments for me...by three months it felt more real, by six months i was starting to adjust better, and so on. now at a year i feel like we are really finding our rhythm. i know that two weeks in this isn't the best news...except to take the pressure off. get through each day as best you can. relish in the moments of joy. being accepting of the difficulty and know that in time it will lift. try to let go of guilt, it really doesn't bring much of use to the table, and hold onto gratitude. not easy, not something we achieve in this lifetime even, but worth trying for. the other recent focus i am loving...really truly living in the moment. just another attempt for me to get out of my head and into the present. ok, most of all congrats and don't worry i know you are doing great! hi hi hi! i just got back online after surviving a failed/dead hard drive experience. so here i am starting out fresh. the first thing i wanted to do was come to check on you and your babe.

reading this post really brought me back (to exactly a year ago) and i just wanted to tell you please, if at all possible, trust your gut and try not to over think things. it took me a long time to wake up and feel like it made sense that i had two children. things seemed to shift in three month increments for me…by three months it felt more real, by six months i was starting to adjust better, and so on. now at a year i feel like we are really finding our rhythm. i know that two weeks in this isn’t the best news…except to take the pressure off. get through each day as best you can. relish in the moments of joy. being accepting of the difficulty and know that in time it will lift.

try to let go of guilt, it really doesn’t bring much of use to the table, and hold onto gratitude. not easy, not something we achieve in this lifetime even, but worth trying for.

the other recent focus i am loving…really truly living in the moment. just another attempt for me to get out of my head and into the present.

ok, most of all congrats and don’t worry i know you are doing great!

]]> By: Gypsy http://www.greenmamma.org/blog/2009/09/04/2-weeks-later/comment-page-1/#comment-3022 Gypsy Sat, 05 Sep 2009 09:41:12 +0000 http://www.greenmamma.org/blog/?p=2973#comment-3022 Oh Jessica, this is so beautifull written I think it just captures that post baby time ... its so hard. It does get easier, but I remember at the time I just couldn't imagine anything beyond the current moment. It wasn't till number two was past 4 months that the fog lifted for me ... sometimes it still hasn't. The workload is beyond belief, and the "heartload" of two children can be almost too intense to bear, especially when you are not well yourself. (Get yourself some Weleda Plantago for your chest, it will help!) They are lucky to have such a wonderful mama! Sending you love and support from across the world! Gypsyxx Oh Jessica, this is so beautifull written I think it just captures that post baby time … its so hard. It does get easier, but I remember at the time I just couldn’t imagine anything beyond the current moment. It wasn’t till number two was past 4 months that the fog lifted for me … sometimes it still hasn’t. The workload is beyond belief, and the “heartload” of two children can be almost too intense to bear, especially when you are not well yourself. (Get yourself some Weleda Plantago for your chest, it will help!) They are lucky to have such a wonderful mama! Sending you love and support from across the world! Gypsyxx

]]> By: MamaTea http://www.greenmamma.org/blog/2009/09/04/2-weeks-later/comment-page-1/#comment-3021 MamaTea Sat, 05 Sep 2009 02:16:19 +0000 http://www.greenmamma.org/blog/?p=2973#comment-3021 Gosh, my dear, I remember feeling all this same stuff like it was yesterday. And it wasn't yesterday, it was over five years ago. That change from one to two is so different from zero to one. The guilt about shortchanging the first child, the anger and worry about your body (will it ever be the same??), feeling like you're being pulled in a thousand different directions...when is the time for me, when do I get to write/dance/sing/work/whatever again?...it is HARD. An uncomfortable, icky, messed up place to be. A place where its hard to find peace or comfort. Always wishing you were somewhere else. I'm thinking of you and wishing you peace and comfort as you find your way through this transition. :) Gosh, my dear, I remember feeling all this same stuff like it was yesterday. And it wasn’t yesterday, it was over five years ago. That change from one to two is so different from zero to one. The guilt about shortchanging the first child, the anger and worry about your body (will it ever be the same??), feeling like you’re being pulled in a thousand different directions…when is the time for me, when do I get to write/dance/sing/work/whatever again?…it is HARD. An uncomfortable, icky, messed up place to be. A place where its hard to find peace or comfort. Always wishing you were somewhere else.

I’m thinking of you and wishing you peace and comfort as you find your way through this transition. :)

]]> By: Emily http://www.greenmamma.org/blog/2009/09/04/2-weeks-later/comment-page-1/#comment-3020 Emily Sat, 05 Sep 2009 01:50:26 +0000 http://www.greenmamma.org/blog/?p=2973#comment-3020 Hi Greenmama, I am a friend of woowoo mama's and found your blog through hers. I just want to thank you for sharing all this...I am 34 weeks pregnant with my first and love to learn from others. It seems you are a good one to learn from. I also love the name Levi. I wanted to share that with you as well. Do the best you can at taking good care of yourself and the big three. Emily Hi Greenmama,
I am a friend of woowoo mama’s and found your blog through hers. I just want to thank you for sharing all this…I am 34 weeks pregnant with my first and love to learn from others. It seems you are a good one to learn from. I also love the name Levi. I wanted to share that with you as well. Do the best you can at taking good care of yourself and the big three.
Emily

]]> By: maryanne http://www.greenmamma.org/blog/2009/09/04/2-weeks-later/comment-page-1/#comment-3017 maryanne Fri, 04 Sep 2009 21:45:18 +0000 http://www.greenmamma.org/blog/?p=2973#comment-3017 I can identify with so much of what you've written here! I weaned my son before my youngest was born after much deliberation about whether or not to tandem nurse. I decided my body couldn't handle it, and I do think I made the right decision (for my particular situation), but I weaned late enough that my son still remembered nursing and it was hard for him (and me) to sit and watch his baby sister nurse for the first few weeks. We just passed the one month mark and he seems to be fine with it now. This morning he lay on the bed and cuddled the baby while she nursed and talked about how cute she was. I remember the first month being the hardest when I went from one to two, and I think the same has been true with the transition from two to three. Things will get better, and if you've already lost over half of your pregnancy weight I'm sure the rest will come off too over time. One month out from baby #3 I've lost about half of my pregnancy weight and I'm okay with how I look, but none of my pre-baby jeans fit. I'll wait at least another month before giving up on that though. I hope your bronchitis gets better soon - my husband currently has bronchitis too (he gets it whenever he feels stressed or loses sleep). I can identify with so much of what you’ve written here! I weaned my son before my youngest was born after much deliberation about whether or not to tandem nurse. I decided my body couldn’t handle it, and I do think I made the right decision (for my particular situation), but I weaned late enough that my son still remembered nursing and it was hard for him (and me) to sit and watch his baby sister nurse for the first few weeks. We just passed the one month mark and he seems to be fine with it now. This morning he lay on the bed and cuddled the baby while she nursed and talked about how cute she was.

I remember the first month being the hardest when I went from one to two, and I think the same has been true with the transition from two to three. Things will get better, and if you’ve already lost over half of your pregnancy weight I’m sure the rest will come off too over time. One month out from baby #3 I’ve lost about half of my pregnancy weight and I’m okay with how I look, but none of my pre-baby jeans fit. I’ll wait at least another month before giving up on that though.

I hope your bronchitis gets better soon – my husband currently has bronchitis too (he gets it whenever he feels stressed or loses sleep).

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