Yesterday afternoon while Annabelle napped and my husband biked, I sat down to work on my application to become a leader of a local parenting group. Completing this application will likely take me a month or two as there is much reading, reflection, and answering of questions. One of the more valuable questions on the application simply asks why an applicant wants to become a leader. In a roundabout way, I explained that participating in the group offered me great hope and support when I was a new parent and that it encouraged me to make decisions, as a parent, that resonated with what my heart was telling me to do.
But, as I thought about my answer, I remembered the earliest months at home with a newborn. Gosh, it wasn’t easy. My husband and I lived without sleep (though even in our most delirious states still managed to smile and be grateful for the helpless baby who needed us). I remember feeling so afraid the day he returned to work from his week at home; now, caring for a newborn was my responsibility for at least 8 hours out of the day. Within a few days, I adjusted and came to love spending time with my baby; however, once I got the hang of changing diapers, soothing a crying baby, and managing our home, I wished that I had someone to talk with, commiserate with, and gain some insight about my role as a mother and how my previous life roles were changing.
In a sense, I sent my hope out into the universe; I was searching for co-workers, friendship, and a community where I belonged. Shortly thereafter, another full time mom invited me to attend a breastfeeding support group and a babywearing meeting. There I met many new and veteran mothers who not only enjoyed discussing how to soothe a crying baby and talk about whether or not my baby was eating enough, but who genuinely cared to help out an amateur mom, like myself. The best part of meeting these women was that I came across advice and encouragement about child rearing and nurturing a family that “felt” right to me.
I imagine that many religious people consider prayer to be the way to communicate their hopes, intentions, and desires to the universe, or a higher power. Having experienced many trying times in my life (as we all do), I have found spirituality and the ability to turn within myself to be so comforting and worthwhile. Early in my pregnancy, my provider informed me that my HCG levels were low, which suggested that I had an ectopic pregnancy and would eventually miscarry. My heart broke. Becoming a mother had long been a dream of mine, and I was devastated that I might be losing my baby. I read and read to learn more about my possible medical condition, but I have to tell you that none of the knowledge I acquired was comforting; it was only at night or while taking walks by myself that I was able to quiet myself and feel any peace. My heart spoke to something greater than myself and I felt hope.
Whatever our beliefs are in this life, we can feel more connected to each other, more hopeful, and perhaps even better guided if we are able to send out our intentions. When my father was suffering from cancer, I attended a group who helped me visualize and send healing energy to my dad; my hope was that he would not feel any more pain. A few days later he passed away. Admittedly, his passing and the events surrounding it can be interpreted in so many ways. The way I choose to see things is that my hopes for my father were answered.
Because Green Mamma is a place where I come to talk about parenting and the environment, let me bring this post back to it; there are so many folks on the internet and all around the world who care about working towards a healthier planet. Being able to reach our goal, collectively, to care for this earth and make it a livable place for generations to come, is possible, I think; although it is my opinion that such a goal would be more attainable if each and every day those of us who are working on behalf of the earth simply quiet our minds and express our hopes, wishes, and intentions for it. At the very least, such an exercise helps with focus, and when are focused, we can achieve most anything.
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