The other night as I was dressing Annabelle after her bath, she looked up at me and then reached for her pajama bottoms, which I was holding. She patted her chest and her eyes spoke, saying, “I want to do it myself, this time.” Since we are incorporating the Montessori approach into our lives, I asked her, “Do you want to try?” to which she responded, “Aye,” her way of saying yes. I immediately handed over the bottoms and then spontaneously took off my own pants, sat on the floor, and showed her how to hold her pants open and stick one leg into a pant leg at a time before standing up and pulling the pants the rest of the way up. After a few tries, we two headed for the hallway where she demonstrated her new pants putting on skills to her dad. All 3 of us clapped for her.
Like any attached mother might feel, I was beaming with pride that my daughter could put on her own pants and is taking steps away from me (learning to dress oneself is a major achievement in my book) but at the same time I got teary eyed just thinking about all the other milestones ahead of us, and how meaningful each one will be and how each step she takes is actually one step further away from her mom and dad. Recognizing that it is time to let go (even just a little bit) is difficult for me, and yet, I want my daughter to be able to do things for herself, to be her own person, and to trust me and her father enough to be able to go away from the nest and live her own life.
This week I feel large with gratitude. Here’s why:
1. Coffee. Yes, I am aware of how coffee trade influences global warming, and most of the time I refuse to touch the stuff (having sworn it off after long sleepless nights in college when I stayed up writing to meet deadlines). This week, though, I confronted a new beast in the no sleep department of parenting (marathon teething and nursing to be precise), and for the first time since Annabelle’s first 6 weeks of life, I felt that I needed a cup of joe to survive the day after having had no sleep. My dear Annabelle has the unique ability of waking up throughout the night (and I wonder, when does this child sleep?) but then getting up in the morning as if the last 9 hours never happened, being able to bounce around the house and begging her sleep deprived mamma to head outside to the pool. Aye, yay, yay. Thank you to the coffee gods (or Starbucks) for supplying me with the good stuff this week.
2. Kid Sharing. Two of my good friends and I are starting to swap a few hours of our child care responsibilities, so that one is free to pursue her interests while the other mom mothers 2 kids rather than 1 (all 3 of us are first time parents with only 1 child). What I am noticing from our arrangement is that: 2 kids play together, explore, and operate within their own universes, keeping each other busy, however, without frequent breaks in play (like changing the environment, having a snack, turning on the music), 2 kids turns out to be more time for mom to referee play (share please, touch your friends gently, etc.). Caring for 2 children has also opened my eyes to the logistics and added strength (physical and mental) needed for mothering more than 1 child; for example, lifting up 2 little ones and navigating a short walk from the car to a destination (say, the duck pond) is no easy venture. Moms of more than 1, I am in awe of you.
3 . New bloggy friends. I am meeting so many green minded people and it makes me so happy! I love being with like minded people, sharing ideas, and learning from each other (although I also enjoy people who challenge my ideas and who make me think about why I believe something or do something a certain way). Making new bloggy friends is something like discovering several new universes since reading a blog is a bit voyeuristic and allows us to peak into the lives of someone else. Recently I have discovered the following blogs, whose writers offer new ideas, pieces of themselves (or their families), and beautiful things (like photography and green suggestions). Go check them out:
4. Mamma Mia. Yesterday my husband and I dropped our daughter with a friend and headed for the movie theater intending to the see The Dark Knight, but we arrived late and no surprise, the movie was sold out. Secretly I hoped to see Mamma Mia but didn’t suggest it since musical theater is not one of my husband’s favorite outlets. What I couldn’t have predicted though was that we both actually laughed and cried while watching this film (we both laughed when Pierce Brosnan sang . . . strange to see James Bond singing, although he has a nice voice). Meryl Streep gave an incredible and energetic performance as Donna Sheridan, the owner of a hotel on a Greek island. Throughout the film I found myself identifying with both Donna, who loves her daughter more than life itself, and her daughter Sophie, who is about to be married and who is desperate to find out who she is. Scenes with Meryl Streep, Christie Baranski, and Julie Walters never failed to be flamingly flamboyant (loved the sparkling ABBA costumes on these 3 ladies). I totally loved this movie, and oh, it was nice to be on a date with my husband, too.
5. Quiet Sunday Mornings. This morning I woke up first, came downstairs, opened the windows, and sat down to write. It has been such a treat to be able to write in quiet without the hubbub of our home happening behind me or under me (depending on where I write). Of course, without the hubbub of my home, I fear that I would have no inspiration or desire to write. Still, the quiet of a Sunday morning (by myself) and the promise of a day ahead spent with my family is satisfying.
I hope that anyone who stops by and reads my gratitude post this week will also enjoy a relaxing Sunday, and if not, I hope you’ll find time for yourself (even if that means hiding in your in-laws bathroom for a few moments of peace; hey, family can be challenging). However your day unfolds, may it be a happy one.
Cheers,
Green Mamma
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Green Mamma,
Thanks for the mention!
I love to hear your passionate thoughts on Attachment Parenting! I realize this is how I raised my three children (now 19, 24, and 27) before I knew it had a name! For years, I had a child, literally, attached at the hip or breast, or sleeping with us at night! It was natural and felt right, but people didn’t talk about it much. These were kids who never spent time in a playpen, but then our dogs never liked crates either! Is that a reflection on us? I have fond memories of the “big bed” when everyone came into our room during hot summer nights, as it was the only room in the house with AC (at my husband’s insistence!) When the kids were bigger they spread out on the floor with sleeping bags. And, yes, our three children did grow up into well-adjusted, respectable adults who are all the better for the closeness. Now, my husband and I have only our golden retriever and old English sheepdog to share our bedroom on hot summer nights!
Now . . . if I can just convince my daughter to go see Mamma Mia with me . . . your review sounds great!
Thanks for the mention! Great to be finding a community online! (Although I have to remind myself, too, that challenging people are also a blessing, as you stated!)
I secretly hope to see Mamma Mia, too. Glad you had an uplifting night!
Everyday woman, I am happy to share my passion for A.P. with others. Hopefully someday A.P. will not be needed because it will simply be “parenting.”
Also, Mamma Mia is totally worth seeing so I hope Abbie will go with you. If not, maybe Al can go with you? My hubby ended up liking the movie.
Hopealso, I’m happy to share good writing with others. And, if no one challenged us, well, that might be nice, but it is worthwhile to reflect on our point of view and think about why different folks challenge us.
Getting out with my husband was such a treat. I recommend making a commitment to finding couples’ time for anyone with children. It’s a wonderful way to reconnect and romance ourselves.
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