“A good night’s sleep” is a phrase I hear often in my house. Since our 16 month old enjoys a good night’s sleep most every night, it isn’t from her mouth that I hear the phrase (even if she could say it). Somtimes it is me making an excuse about why I felt unmotivated to get this or that done: “Oh, if I’d only had a good night’s sleep, then I would’ve . . .” But, more often I hear the phrase from my husband. We discuss family planning. This is never a good idea after we have not had a “good night’s sleep.” And, I’m learning, it isn’t a good idea to bring up family planning when my husband has had an overwhelming day at the office. On his more stressful days, he becomes passionate when the topic of sleep comes up: “I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in a year and half.” Annabelle giggles at him. I try to hold back a smile. But we’re both sitting there looking at our beautiful daughter and thinking, “And isn’t she worth it?”

To be honest, we are sometimes sleep deprived. But for the most part, I know that I rack up a decent night’s sleep and am able to make up for lost sleep during the day, with my daughter napping beside me. I realize that my husband doesn’t have that option. He’s not your regular George Costanza crawling under his desk to get some shut eye. But, my husband is one of those blessed people who sleeps through storms, probably air bombs, and definitely through the wakings of a teething toddler. What then are his less than “good night’s sleep”? I am guessing those are the nights when I, the ever awake mom, startle him from his sleep and beg for mercy from our teether. She nurses through her teething pain, and after a few hours, non-stop breastfeeding is uncomfortable for me, not to mention difficult to sleep through.

Right now we are at a stand still. Annabelle falls asleep in her crib and remains there for several hours until her first waking. Once she is awake, I nurse her or my husband soothes her and she goes back to sleep in her crib. On other nights, she demands a place beside her mom and dad in our family bed. We all wake up together in our bed just about every morning.

My husband, meanwhile, outlines his plans for successfully making it through the entire night with our daughter sleeping in her crib. In the back of his mind, I know he wants to spend more time with me, more time playing pool, and more time just well, sleeping in.

The way I see our sleeping arrangement is that our daughter will gradually become more comfortable sleeping away from her parents, but that it is our job to encourage her trust in her parents as well as her own self-confidence by staying with her through the night, reassuring her that we are there for her no matter what.

And my husband agrees with my point of view, the latter part anyway. He is a most devoted and doting father. I observe the two of them walking together and playing. His voice changes when he speaks with her; he becomes a younger, more carefree version of himself. Even his body language loosens up. He no longer thinks about what is going on at his office, what deadlines are up, etc. He focuses entirely on his daughter.

So I asked him one night, “Do you think that your bond with Annabelle has anything to do with co-sleeping? I mean, think about it. You go to work all day and don’t see Annabelle. Yeah, you have some time with her at night, but just think about how many hours you two spend together sleeping, not to mention how you play together when you wake up in the morning.”

My husband fights a smile. “Maybe I’m just a good father?” He hates to admit that I am ever right about anything, but maybe, just maybe, he senses an inkling of truth when it comes to how co-sleeping has influenced his relationship with our daughter.

To put an end to this long post about co-sleeping, I’ll share some good information about the benefits of co-sleeping, especially with articles addressing dads’ concerns:

• Dr. Sear’s “Sleeping Safely with your baby”
• Brand New Dad Co-sleeping thread
• The Natural Child Project “Cosleeping”
• Wears the Baby: Ask Dad “Cosleep”

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This week’s green friend of the week is Prasanna, a lifelong vegetarian and environmentalist. Prasanna is perhaps one of the most enthusiastic recyclers I have ever met. Her love and respect for Mother Earth are laudable. Here’s the short list of what Prasanna and her family are doing to help protect our planet:

1. Switch from a gas guzzler to a hybrid. Prasanna traded in her family’s gas guzzling SUV for a Prius hybrid. Just think of it: a gallon of gasoline produces 20 lbs. of carbon dioxide. Driving a hybrid helps Prasanna and her family save the earth several tons of greenhouse gases. Prasanna loves driving an earth friendly car and says, “It is so much fun to drive!” Click here to learn more about hybrid vehicles.

2. Make recycling your passion. Prasanna explains her enthusiasm, “[Recycling] is s a passion and a hobby for me. I often find myself sorting through the trashcan at work to recycle items, and I bring home trash from fast food restaurants where they don’t have recycling! I also recycle batteries and plastic bags at special recycling centers.” Prasanna’s friends and family are highly amused by Prasanna’s recycling urges. When our families walked together for the first time and I observed her picking up trash and pulling out recyclable containers, I felt that I was with a kindred spirit.

3. Avoid styrofoam dishware like the plague! According to National Geographic’s The Green Guide:

“Not only are Styrofoam products hazardous to the environment, they can also be hazardous to your health! When stored or heated, plastic packaging like Styrofoam may leach the possible human carcinogen styrene into foods. Styrene is also suspected of disrupting hormones harming developing bodies.”

Alternative storage containers include plastics #1, #2, #4, and #5, as well as biodegradable products made by Green Earth Office Supplies.

4. Buy organic. Prasanna’s favorite organic market is Whole Foods Market. “We are big fans [of Whole Foods] who sell organic products at a more reasonable price.” Buying organic dairy products is also one way that Prasanna safeguards her children’s development and longterm health. She explains, “My kids are not exposed to unnecessary growth hormones and the environment is not exposed to unnecessary antibiotics, which could encourage the growth of antibiotic resistant strains of bacteria.” Did I mention that Prasanna is a biologist for an important health institution?

6. Become a vegetarian. Click here to read GoVeg.com’s article about how we can benefit the environment by not eating animals and animal products.

7. Live with minimum impact. Prasanna and her family recently moved to Carderock, MD which is famous for rock climbing (a potential new hobby for them) and is nearby Prasanna’s job. By reducing her commute, Prasanna saves the earth extra emissions and allows herself more time for thinking of ways to green her life. In addition, her husband occasionally telecommutes.

8. Be a true conservative. That is, live to conserve the environment by being aware of energy and water usage. Prasanna is teaching her 3 year old to shut off the water while brushing his teeth, as well as to keep the lights off in empty rooms.

9. Flush!  Your diapers, that is! I introduced Prasanna to g Diapers, which involves using a washable cloth outer shell, a reusable liner, and a paper insert that can be flushed or composted. Prasanna uses g Diapers for her 16 month old “to reduce the eternal source of landfill waste.” g Diapers are “g”reen diapers!

10. Reuse and donate. Prasanna’s family avoids adding to landfill waste by donating reusable items and re-purposing them.

11. Chat ‘em up. Prasanna enjoys discussing the environment and ways to take action on its behalf. She says, “I love to discuss being green with friends. Not only do I learn more about being green, but it strengthens both my and my friends’ resolve to make a difference!” As early as high school, Prasanna was a founding member of her school’s Environmental club, a group of students who discussed how to be more environmentally friendly and to find meaningful ways to take action.

Phewy! Prasanna is one green mamma! Thank goodness for friends like her, though. She is an environmentalist through and through and is committed to finding ways to live in a mindful and respectful way of Mother Earth. When she and I last talked, she shared good news: she and her family won a free compost container at her neighborhood’s Earth day recycling party. It must be her good green karma . . .

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Crunchy Domestic Goddess just published this post entitled “Planning for a Homebirth” on API Speaks, the new Attachment Parenting International blog.   Amy, a.k.a. Crunchy Domestic Goddess, describes the midwifery model of care when labor and birth happen at home.  It is an explanation for families considering a midwife or home birth for their next birth experience.  Right now I find myself somewhere in between.  With Annabelle, I had planned for an intervention-free, natural birth with the care of a midwife in a hospital.   There are many reasons why my ideal birth didn’t happen, and I am beginning to wonder whether the hospital setting may have had something to do with that.

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Getting back into the swing of things was the theme of this past week for me and my family.  We unpacked, started the laundry, and took the opportunity to start spring cleaning.    I also caught up on environmental news, learned more about the food shortages  across the world, and was happy to hear that Canada and Walmart are removing products containing BPA from their markets.  Here’s what I took comfort in this week:

1. Canada and Walmart ban BPA!  Click here to read more.

2. Annabelle tolerates long rides in her stroller!  While this may not seem to have the nation and worldwide significance of countries and companies banning BPA, I am a happy woman when my toddler doesn’t start screaming at the top of her lungs when we are out for a walk or run about a half hour away from the house and she decides she wants no more of it.  Yesterday we completed an 8 mile route together.  It took us close to two hours to complete, but she was content to lay back, relax, and munch from her homemade snack trap.

3.  The Ecomom Alliance released Composting Now, a video about how to build and keep a compost!  I am psyched to have visual instructions for composting; while on vacation I read another composting book called Let it Rot.   Now I just need to find a compost container (or build one), and then my family is going to construct a raised bed vegetable garden in our backyard.   If anyone has composting tips for me, please comment or e-mail me at greenmamma@greenmamma.org.  I really would appreciate more input.

4.  FreeRice helps improve lives by providing English vocabulary to site visitors and donating 20 grains of rice for each word that a visitor understands, or gets “right.”  My vocabulary level is 40, and I played for about ten minutes.  While improving your own vocabulary by visiting Free Rice is fun and self-serving, I am happy that this sister site of Poverty.com is raising awareness about world hunger.  Click here to read more about the world hunger crisis in today’s Washington Post.

5.   I gathered the courage to find a good pediatrician for my child, and I am researching good prenatal care for my next child.  To learn more about my troubling experiences with different pediatric offices in my community, click here.  “Becoming my child’s advocate” will, I hope, encourage other parents who are frustrated with their child’s medical care to get back on the horse and insist that medical professionals do better.  It boils down to respect.  By treating others with kindness and respect, we as parents (and our children too) deserve respect and care from those who we trust with our health.

In the coming week I am going to try and learn more about prenatal care, as well as prepare for a combined visit from my husband’s and my own mother.  It’ll either be a doozy or a lot of fun, but either way, my family is going to be busy this week getting ready for their arrival.

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Yikes!  The folks at Wholesome Baby Food Recipes just published this post about the Beaba Baby Cook, a product that uses a polycarbonate container that leeches, you guessed it, BPA!   Um, and considering that the Beaba Baby Cook is used to steam baby food, i.e. use heat, my worry meter is at an all time high!  Heat and iffy plastic = nasty chemicals leeching into your food.   Let’s just say that I think I’ll wait until the Beaba Baby Cook replaces the polycarbonate container with a healthier, maybe glass, equivalent.   Oh, and thanks to my blogging buddy Christina for sending me this tip.

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Yuck. We have thrush. Yesterday when we visited the pediatrician about Annabelle’s ongoing cough (it’s viral, allergies, the real answer: not sure), the ped. discovered yeast in the back of her mouth. Thrush! I was wondering why I felt uncomfortable and sore when Annabelle is nursing . . . We’ve been passing thrush back and forth via breastfeeding.

Luckily there’s a few things we can do. 1) The ped. prescribed Nystatin, 1 ml droplets 4 times daily in each cheek as well as Nystatin for mommy’s breasts, 2) pro-biotics in food form and additive form, 3) stay clean and dry, and 4) visit mom’s mid-wife to treat mom’s thrush.

I am still a bit grossed out by our “condition,” although it’s pretty common, and apparently we’re all yeast carriers anyway; it’s just that yeast feeds on sugar and occurs when good bacteria is low. I read up a bit about thrush and found the following links helpful:

• Breastfeeding On-line
• Breastfeeding Basics
• Kellymom.com
• Dr.Sears
• Motheringdotcommune

Well, that about sums it up. Kind of gross and uncomfortable, but I’m glad it’s not serious. If thrush happens to you and your little one, I’m guessing that the above articles may tell you all you’ll ever want to know about thrush and yeast.

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I am a difficult mother. I don’t try to be. It just kind of happened.

Let’s go back sixteen months. My daughter Annabelle was born. I delivered in a hospital with a midwife and an entire staff of doctors overseeing my birth. Ten hours later my daughter was placed upon my stomach and I nursed her for the first time. For the remainder of our stay in the hospital, a very tired version of her mother lay holding her, accompanying her to her first bath, all tests, and sleeping with her each and every night. I didn’t let my daughter leave my sight. Yes, I trusted many of the nurses who cared for me, my husband, and my new baby. I do, however, remember one nurse who not only was curt with me and my husband but who was less than gentle with my daughter while demonstrating how to swaddle her.

Being an advocate for my daughter has been an ongoing challenge since her birth. Making decisions about whether or not to give her antibiotics for ear infections (that quickly come and go), whether or not to vaccinate, whether to breastfeed, pump and supplement with formula, and how to put our dear one to bed at night are complicated by what I and my husband believe in, what society says,  what our pediatrician and his office recommend, not to mention what friends and family think we should do. There’s a lot to consider.

Early on, Annabelle had jaundice. The pediatrician recommended that I stop breastfeeding and instead feed my 3 day old baby formula. The doctor expressed fear that my baby had “breast milk jaundice.” Click here to read Kellymom.com’s handout on breast milk jaundice. Thankfully I was reading the La Leche League’s Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, which helped me stay confident that I was doing the right thing by nursing my baby and helping her to gain weight and work the bilirubin out of her system. Within two days, she was in the clear.

Fast forward to Annabelle’s first stomach flu. At the pediatrician’s office, his friendly but perhaps misinformed medical assistants insisted that I stop nursing since my daughter was sick and I too was coming down with the flu. My breast milk was apparently “tainted.” I confronted my pediatrician who I am happy to say agreed with me that nursing my baby through her illness was the right thing to do. To read more about nursing a sick child to wellness, click here.

I wondered if perhaps I was the motivating factor for the way my child and I were treated. My husband and I are both young parents amidst the well educated and affluent community that makes up suburban Washington, D.C. I was twenty-five and still in graduate school when I gave birth to Annabelle. My husband was thirty. While we both are well educated, age sometimes influences the way we and our daughter are treated by medical professionals.

I often feel timid because of my age. While I know a thing or two about nursing, soothing a crying baby, grocery shopping with a baby inside a heavy car seat, and navigating most terrains with a baby stroller or with my baby bundled up in a carrier, I tend to forget how valuable my experience(s) as a parent are. And it’s not like there are any badges or certificates out there for parents to list or wear that prove that even though I don’t have any gray strands in my hair, I do know what I’m doing, and yes, I am intelligent.

So we left our first pediatrician. We tried another pediatrician. Now we are on pediatrician #3, a practice that I have high hopes for. I drove at least twenty miles to get to the new office, waited about two minutes, met a friendly nurse who asked me if I wanted to be addressed as Mrs. M–, and then was pleasantly surprised when a young and pregnant doctor walked in, sat down, and made eye contact with me. She spent the entire visit talking to my daughter, playing with her through the examination, and asked me more than once if I had any other questions or concerns. We discussed good prenatal care since I plan to becomce pregnant sometime in the coming year, and she recommended a midwifery practice!

Working as my child’s advocate is no small job. Wherever and with whomever my child interacts, my husband and I will need to be the older sets of eyes making sure that she is treated well, that she treats others with respect, and that she gets a good confident start in life. And even though I am at my wit’s end when she is throwing her tantrums, I have high hopes that my daughter will find strength in her challenges, and if need be, will become a difficult woman who is not afraid to disagree with those in positions of authority (including her mom and dad).

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Aside from vacation, the month of April has been full of challenges for this Green Mamma. Crunchy Chicken started it off with the Buy Nothing Challenge, a feat that I willingly took on, and yes, am thankful to have participated in. But another, more taxing challenge in April is what marks the real start of Spring: the time to air out our houses and get down to some serious Spring cleaning.

Over at Ideal Bite, ‘Biters’ are challenged to clean up their cleaning acts and switch from conventional cleaners to eco-friendly equivalents. Ideal Bite offers easy, convenient, and free–did I mention, it’s free–tips about living a virtuous, green lifestyle. Go on over. Check them out. Oh, and if you happen to click on the “Let’s Talk Dirty” link, you’ll find links to eco-friendly cleaning products and sassy feedback about Ideal Bite staffers’ experiences with green cleaning.

So, I’ve got to get to my cleaning, and with the Fly Lady’s help and inspiration from Christopher Gavigan’s Healthy Child Healthy World: Creating a Cleaner, Greener, Safer World, I’m on my way to a pesticide and chemical free house that I hope will not only meet “clean” standards but will also improve my family’s indoor air quality. Don’t worry, I’ll keep folks posted on how various green cleaners go over. And if you would, drop a comment or shoot me an e-mail about your favorite green cleaning products.

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Earlier this month I visited a Babywearers’ meeting at my local library, and then posted this review about various baby carriers that Annabelle and I tried. Well, as it turns out, there’s been a recall on the Beco. Click here to read more about the potential problems that may occur from wearing your child in a Beco. Let’s hope Beco makes changes to newer models. Overall, their environmental and fair working conditions are to be applauded, so I hope this recall will not completely diminish Beco’s reputation.

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I have a confession. Participating in Crunchy Chicken’s Buy Nothing Challenge is something like being on a diet where I am counting down the minutes to its end. Don’t get me wrong. Being challenged to abstain from swiping my credit card and handing over my cash is a worthwhile feat. It’s just that sometimes I am human. By that I mean that many, many human beings are full of lust and longing for pleasure. Shopping, as much as I hate to admit it, brings me a certain amount of pleasure.

Not shopping has made me confront ugly inner demons that are ultimately humbling to me. I don’t like to think of myself as a mindless consumer. I like to think that I match my dollars with my values. I value the environment. So I insist that my family use no-voc paint. I research cleaning products. I analyze what products I put onto my skin.

Since we’re on the topic of product analysis, ten months ago, I wrote this post comparing personal care products for babies based on valuable assessments available at the Cosmetic Safety Database popularly known as Skin Deep.

I love Skin Deep. Just about every month I receive an e-mail from one friend or another who just can’t wait to tell me about Skin Deep, or the Cosmetic Safety Database. Sources like Skin Deep revive my trust that companies can make virtuous choices for the sake of their customers and animals’ safety. It feels good to trust the products that I use.

Another great resource for checking the safety of your personal care and cleaning products is the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics. From their web-site:

“Companies listed below have pledged to not use chemicals that are known or strongly suspected of causing cancer, mutation or birth defects in their products and to implement substitution plans that replace hazardous materials with safer alternatives in every market they serve.”

Sadly, products made by companies like Estee Lauder, Revlon, and Avon refuse to sign the pledge. And this means that uninformed women, pregnant women, breastfeeding women, developing teenage women, and men who use these products are purchasing and absorbing chemicals that may have negative ramifications for their health.

But I digress. Let me get back to my pathetic vent about struggling not to buy anything this month. I am making a list and checking it twice. I’m gonna find out if my buying urges are . . . well, you get it. Not buying has its advantages. It makes me really think about whether or not I need something or if its just that naughty urge that wants it.

There are eight days left and right about now, I am craving a trip to Nordstrom’s or even an on-line outlet the way that a pregnant me might otherwise crave pizza and ice cream. Oh, I am so, bad, bad, bad. Or am I?

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